I left this month's challenge until late. What was I waiting for? I don't know, but when I saw the rules of the ovillejo, I was afraid. It's so tightly arranged. Take a look:
Line 1: a rhyme in 8 syllables
Line 2: a rhyme in 3-4 syllables
Line 3: b rhyme in 8 syllables
Line 4: b rhyme in 3-4 syllables
Line 5: c rhyme in 8 syllables
Line 6: c rhyme in 3-4 syllables
Line 7: c rhyme in 8 syllables
Line 8: d rhyme in 8 syllables
Line 9: d rhyme in 8 syllables
Line 10: (Line 2) (Line 4) (Line 6)
On the other hand, the punchy short lines and the rhyme seemed fun. But how to make it all work together? My poetry sisters advised starting with the last line and reverse engineering. But...I didn't do that. Nope. Part of why I write poetry is to discover what I think, and if I write the last lines first, I can't think well...my head is too full of where I'm going. So I just wrote a first line, then another silly one, and so on and so on, until I had...well, a mess that fit the rules but was as goofy as a bad commercial.
Fortunately, revision came to the rescue. Even in a tight form, you have wriggle room. Even on busy days, you have time.
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Oh, when will the cherry blossoms bloom?Wait. Wait. Ka-boom!Bursting, busting, bruising the shocked air—now, everywhere.Time roots down as petals swirl; they freeyou and mefrom overflow; we can be emptyof questions of when; they sticky kissour foreheads, they croon: Time is but this:Wait. Wait. Ka-boom!— now and everywhere—you and me.---Sara Lewis Holmes (all rights reserved)
Sara, thank you for sharing your approach! I was convinced that the bottom up approach was best, but now I see there are many ways to skin a poem!
ReplyDeleteWait Wait Ka-boom! So true! Thank you, Sara. Now that I've read several of these, I think it's the bottom-heavy part of the form that doesn't suit my aesthetic ?? xo
ReplyDeleteThis is the literal definition of "hurry up and wait." Wait - wait - Kaboom! That's very much the reality of life. And I'm SO GLAD someone else had a rebellious trick up their sleeve. I had to try it head-on as well, and I'm glad I did.
ReplyDeleteBrava! Sara, Brava! I love that kaboom. It does feel like that, doesn't it? Well done.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is JOYOUS and so full of sensory revelations! YES to these blossoms -- ka boom!!!
ReplyDeleteI am swooning! What a photo of you two and the cherry blossoms! What big truths about time, but also, what could be better than a "sticky kiss" from petals that free us. Happy sigh.
ReplyDeleteOh I love that "sticky kiss"! I love cherry blossom season. :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't reverse-engineer either — just started with my first question and it propelled me forward. I love the combination of energy and reflection here, Sara.
ReplyDeleteOoh..."time is but everywhere...you and me." Deep sigh.
ReplyDeleteOur cherry trees are blooming already, so your "Time roots down as petals swirl;" connects to our craziest & warmest March, Sara. I enjoyed the intro to your own approach! It's been interesting to read everyone's ideas about it.
ReplyDelete"Part of why I write poetry is to discover what I think..." I totally agree. I've tried the backwards writing, but so far it's not been for me. Beautiful photograph. I have a photo of my dad when he was a young man with the cherry blossoms of DC behind him... sadly, it's black and white.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, expressive moment of waiting on time, and the process of a cherry 🍒 tree—kaboom, lovely! Your pick reminds me of a visit to the Botanic Gardens in Brooklyn, thanks!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous anthem to spring. I love the ka-boom! I notice this now that I run. One day there's nothing, and all of the sudden the blooms are everywhere. Thanks for sharing this lovely take on spring.
ReplyDeleteSara, so fun! I love the cherry blossom poem kabooming into blossoms, but also the wave you wove in how we are affected by time and waiting.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing how you plot out this form. It makes sense to me now. wait, wait, Ka-Boom! os wonderful. Perfect sound effect and visual for this.
ReplyDelete"Time is but this: / Wait. Wait. Ka-boom!— now and everywhere—you and me." Sara, you're the best example of a discovery writer ever. Thank you for sharing your own process, the enormous possibilities of revision, and this poem. I'm going to share this poem with my husband--it reminds me of all the joy that comes into our life together, right amidst all the hard stuff. <3
ReplyDeleteLove those cherry blossoms...and your poem!
ReplyDelete