I wasn't sure about pairing villanelles with the theme of dichotomy. After all, the form is all about repetition, with the first and third lines echoing throughout the nineteen line poem. Didn't that make for an argument of accumulation rather than one of division?
Of course, there are only two end rhymes---a and b---so maybe that could hold some opposites. Or not. I honestly was stumped, and had done zero prep for our ZOOM write-in. But when I opened my document to noodle around during our session, I found a gift---the "dud" line that Linda Mitchell had given me in last month's "clunker exchange:"
"A year, or maybe a century ago"
Hey! That was, if not exactly a dichotomy, at least a contradiction. And as for the idea of time itself, that's also rife with paradoxical tropes...in fact, my first laughable line to pair with the so-called "clunker" was a bona fide stinker:
Does time fly, or does it flow?
A year, or maybe a century ago
we were bitter young; we were freshly old
our hearts a creek in overflow
what we might do, where we might go
too weak to bear, if not be bold
a year, or maybe a century ago
the questions stung, but blow by blow
answers came, not one pre-told
our hearts a creek in overflow
broken neat, we mended calico
embraced by time’s sweet stranglehold
a year, or maybe a century ago
we brightly sunk to yawning low
crested yet in rivulets of shadow-fold
our hearts a creek in overflow
making of the rocky earth an archipelago
unbounded yet, a swelling unconsoled
a year, or maybe a century ago
our hearts a creek in overflow.
-----Sara Lewis Holmes (all rights reserved)
My poetry sisters are here:
Mary Lee (welcome to the poetry sisters!)
Kelly
Andi
Poetry Friday is hosted today by Becky at Sloth Reads.
Sara, so beautiful! I'm glad you found an idea. I'm sure Linda will be honored her line found a place here.
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed, there is delicious dichotomy in your poem. "we were bitter young; we were freshly old"
Wow, Sara! What a beautiful villanelle! It seems like such a difficult form to get right and you did so masterfully. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteSara, during our Zoom, I was working with "Time is both friend and foe." And the cliches only multiplied from there1 I love the mysterious mood you create, which seems to hint at heartbreak and healing. It's amazing to me how you can use so many concrete and gorgeous images in a poem and make it work and make it engaging, even when I'm not sure exactly what (If anything in particular) happened. A lovely poem for pondering..
ReplyDelete"Bitter young" and "freshly old" - I love that. It speaks to those of us who seem born out of time and out of step with our peers so well.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your stinker line and I'm sad it didn't make it into your lovely love poem--at least that's how I read it. It IS mysterious, the best kind of not-quite-logical syntax and progression that keeps us a little off balance but wallops with the emotions of a relationship over time.
ReplyDelete"we brightly sunk to yawning low
crested yet in rivulets of shadow-fold
our hearts a creek in overflow"
Wonderful.
This is beautiful! I love your refrains - that clunker became a real star in this poem.
ReplyDeleteThis condensation of process is brilliant: "I was headed somewhere. I had words on the page. And eventually, I wrote my way into a villanelle..." and I love your rhymes! You took a clunker and made it shine.
ReplyDeleteBitter young and freshly old feels SO SO perfect (and hard and surprising and perfect) to me. Thanks for this wonderfulness...
ReplyDeleteYou not only gave us the behind the poem thoughts but a lovely villanelle fresh with beautiful lines. I, too, love "we were bitter young; we were freshly old". Thinking back on youthful days those thoughts make great sense.
ReplyDeleteI love where your imagination carried you from Linda's clunker line to "our hearts a creek in overflow," and the poetic ebbing and flowing of this creek and time that you spun for us, thanks Sara!
ReplyDelete