November's challenge was to take a line or theme from Jane Hirshfield's lovely poem, "Two Versions," and create a new poem with it. I can't link to the poem online, but it can be found in her latest collection, The Asking.
I love this kind of challenge because great poets distill so much into their lines that if you choose one--almost any line, really---you are already super-charged with striking imagery and potent ideas. For me, the line that stood out was the second in Hirshfield's poem, which begins:
In the first version, I slept by a stream
All night awake things traveled near.
"Awake things traveling near" immediately made me think of my childhood, of discovering I could manipulate my vision as I fell asleep. (It's possibly a remembrance of lucid dreaming--who can say?) I took the line as the title of my new poem, and dived in:
All night awake things traveled near
(inspired by Jane Hirshfield's Two Versions)
This is my remembrance of magic:
in the darkness, I floated
on the lake of half-sleep
where the islands of faerie,
glinting with life, drifted
in the black satin air.
With eager, powerful strokes,
on purpose, on purpose,
I swam to them, to witness
thumb-sized women stringing
washing on cobwebs;
giggling boys sloshing
water in acorns from wells;
messy-haired girls wielding
brooms of beetle legs--
the most ordinary
of tasks to spy upon,
a holy observation
of awake things
traveling near.
-------Sara Lewis Holmes (all rights reserved)
My poetry sisters' inspired poems can be found here:
Tricia
Kelly
What a dream! What a way to enter sleep, and what a memory.
ReplyDeletethe most ordinary
ReplyDeleteof tasks to spy upon,
a holy observation
What an absolutely splendid phrase, "a holy observation." The ordinary and the sacred indeed cross lines in our lucid, liminal spaces. Really lovely!
Oh I love this. I recently wrote a poem about my childhood that elements of the magical- dream realm. Those ordinary moments are the most holy.
ReplyDeleteThis is so surreal and beautiful! The black satin air and those brooms of beetles' legs. Wow! I feel like I can feel the textures of this experience. Exquisite, Sara!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I just went on this journey with you, Sara. Oh my dreamy goodness... a holy observation indeed.
ReplyDeleteSara, you had me from the first line! Gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteI would read this novel ... I love the details of your holy observations. This is just lovely.
ReplyDeleteThe magic is palpable in your remembrance of magic, Sara. This is beautiful!
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