Thou dankish toad-spotted lout!
Thou lumpish tickle-brained flax-wench!
If no one obliges me by being rude on the road, I'll save myself for the louts/gudgeons/flax-wenches who leave their grocery carts smack in the middle of a parking spot.
Yes, that is my pet peeve. If you are able-bodied, your cart should go into the corral. Rain does not excuse you! Because, you know, then I have to get out of my car in the rain and MOVE your cart to pull into the spot.
Thou mewling idle-headed flap-dragon!
On a brighter note, Kelly Fineman will be posting about Shakespeare the entire month of June.
Hear Hear!! I hate lazy people who don't return their carts to the corral!! No excuse for those puny plume-pucked vassals!
ReplyDeleteYou are TOO funny. Also, did you see this post from a few weeks back? It includes a video of John Green doling out insults, Nerdfighter-style, with a nod to Shakespeare. My favorite? "That huge bombard of sack", which comes from Henry IV, Part I, from this quote:
ReplyDelete"That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?"
i have (somewhere, hmmm) a shakespearian insult generator in book form. it's spiral bound, divided in three parts, and you can flip the pages of each section to find just the right phrase. like those picture books where you can generate unusual creatures or people with different heads, torsos, etc.
ReplyDeleteanyway, my longstanding favorite: thou art a fawning gorbellied codpiece.
and as for parking lots, my lowest rung is reserved for those who let their shopping carts roll away without stopping them.
My daughter is going to have way too much fun with that Shakespeare insult generator (should I decide to tell her about it!)
ReplyDeleteThis is too much fun. Thanks!
ReplyDelete